Kaizen Blueprint

In today's episode, we explored the differences between plant-based, vegan, and vegetarian diets. It emphasizes the importance of eating whole foods and avoiding processed ingredients. Sulaimaan shares his personal journey of transitioning to a plant-based diet and the challenges he faced in a city with limited healthy food options. He highlights the significance of being intentional and making healthy eating a non-negotiable. 

We also touch on the impact of healthy habits on confidence and self-esteem, as well as the importance of self-love and self-compassion. he topic of breakups and the guest's experience with abandonment triggers. We openly discussed personal experience with breakups and the transformative journey of healing and growth that follows. Sulaimaan emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, forgiveness, and self-love in the healing process. 

Quotes: 

Books:
How to Eat: A Holistic Guide to Adopting a Plant-Based Lifestyle - Sulaimaan Daniels
Maat Philosophy by Muata Ashby
The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh

Follow Sulaimaan Daniels:
https://www.instagram.com/sulaimaan414/
https://www.instagram.com/hoodhealers_organics/

Follow Me, Aldo Chandra:
https://www.instagram.com/aldoschandra/

www.kaizenblueprint.com


Transcripts:

Sulaimaan Daniels, welcome to the show. So I want to start off strong. You're a plant -based, but I think many people are probably mistaken or they don't know or they don't have a lot of knowledge. What's the difference between plant -based versus vegan versus vegetarian? So I guess to kind of kick it off, let's say plant -based or whole foods plant -bases, really just eating from the earth. You see the foods that are grown.

Or even if you're having like products and things, whether it could be cereals or snacks, a lot of the ingredients come from the earth. It's not a lot of chemicals, not a lot of additive, not a lot of processed sugars or processed salts or just salts. And so like we're eating straight from the earth. Now with vegan, it could be, I guess you could say, but if it's a product, you're not eating any animal foods. It could be maybe you're eating vegan due to animal rights or to protect the environment, which are all positives. However, we're talking from, I guess, just nutritional level.

Being vegan, you're not eating any animal foods. However, you can have a diet that's high in like processed foods or maybe sugars or wheat or gluten and a lot of things that can be detrimental to the body. And then when it's vegetarian, you're still not eating any meat or fish. However, you do consume, whether it's dairy, eggs, so a little bit of poultry. However, when it comes back to the whole food plant based perspective, you're eating straight from the earth. You're getting a lot of nutrient dense foods, not a lot of chemicals.

not a lot of processed ingredients and that just helps the body flourish a lot better compared to when you're just eating vegan, you can eat a lot of foods packed with chemicals that can be very detrimental. Is it hard because we both live in a city, right? And there's so much processed food. How hard was it that I know you're a plant based, right? So how hard was it to change that diet and kind of tell us how you first started?

I guess it wasn't too hard. When I became plant -based, I was actually in college. I was at Penn State main campus. So when I was out there, they had a lot of foods that were readily available. They were vegan at the time. And so I would just go up to the dining commons, eat the foods. I didn't have to prep too many foods too much. So I would just go there, get my food, go back to my dorm room or eat in the dining commons. And it was pretty simple. Now, when I came home in 2019, that's when it became very challenging. And I was like, you know what? This takes a lot of work, a lot of intention.

A lot of time in the kitchen, a lot of preparation. And it weighed on me a lot. Like I cut out a lot of activities that I would like to do, such as exercising or going to the gym was a big one for me. However, eating was really something that I needed to stick to. And like you said, it's not a lot of accessibility, a lot of corner stores or in Philly, we call them poppy stores, a lot of processed foods, a lot of snacks, a lot of candy. So it's not, we don't really live in, if you're living in the inner cities, we don't really live in an environment that's promoting healthy living.

Like you said, it's a lot of corner stores, a lot of processed foods, a lot of fast foods, McDonald's, which is like group eating. It's horrible. So it was very challenging in the beginning just to be like, all right, well, I got to make this work. How am I going to make it work? And what helped for me was keeping it simple. I'm just going to the stores, getting fresh fruit, fresh, fresh vegetables. I learned a lot of recipes off of YouTube, cooking in the kitchen myself and just experimenting, trying things out. My family didn't really like the food at first. It wasn't the best. However, over the years, definitely got a lot better. So.

I think just being intentional with it and knowing that, all right, I'm going to make this a non -negotiable. That's how it helped me, just making it a non -negotiable. You know what, I want to eat healthy, I want to do the best that I can. And maybe I can't get all organic at first. And then like a year later, started working in a restaurant or a market called Mom's Organics. And being able to work there helped me just be opened up to more accessibility to fresh fruit, fresh vegetables. And then over the course of the last couple of years, we're just working in some plant -based vegan restaurants.

just open the door for just more that I was able to get. Got it again and definitely started from just like making that non -negotiable intention to say, you know what, I'm healthy. And no matter what's the case, I'm going to make it happen. Was there any goals or did you just like wang it or like these are my three to five non -negotiables. These aren't a food that I want to eat every day or these aren't the food that I don't want to eat every day. How strict were you when you first started? I think for me when I first started, so my whole.

I guess when it comes to health was always originated on just fitness. Because when I was younger, at the age of 10, I was overweight and I had to start playing football. I hated it my first year. But as I stuck with it and I started working out, and the biggest inspiration for me to work out was we were doing, it was like the end of our practice one year. I've maybe been about 13 or 14. And as a group, we were doing sit -ups. And I was the only person in the team that couldn't do a sit -up because I never had gym growing up in school.

And my coach came up to me, he was like, sorry, you can't do a sit up. And so that night I went home, I did a hundred sit ups and was like, you know what, I'm going to be able to work out. And having abs became a big standard for me to be healthy. And so when I first went vegan, I was at school, I put on the freshman 15, it was like freshman 20 for me because I was 150 in high school. So I was about 170 pounds. And I was like, you know what? I came across a guy on Instagram and he was like super cut, eating a lot of fruit.

And I was like, you know what, how I see that cut? And he's just eating fruit. And I'm here eating protein and chicken, X, Y, and Z. And so I'm like, you know what, I'm going to try it out. So I went a couple of days, I would eat chicken. And maybe like four days out the week, I would just eat pretty plant -based, no animal products at all. Maybe like a little bit of dairy, if it was in pancakes or something like that. But just eat more fruits and vegetables. You know what, I started to cut out, started to lean out, got to 150. I was like, you know what, I'm feeling really good. I have a lot of energy. I'm going to cut.

most cut I've ever been in my life. And I was like, you know what? I want to stick with it. And so just having that or just seeing the changes physically that they gave me and like the mental boost and how I felt energy, energy wise, it made me say, you know what? I want to stick with it. Was this something that makes you feel good? Now in the beginning phase, I want to say like 2019, 2020, I was following a lot of the alkaline or Dr. Sebi diet, if anyone's familiar. And like it became a little too restrictive.

And so over the course of the years, I've definitely opened up and I allow myself to maybe eat something that's not fully alkaline or fully a hundred percent plant -based. Like I may have some vegan pizza or some vegan donuts every now and then. However, the root of my diet is definitely just whole food, fruits and vegetables for primarily the most point and then still limiting any animal products too. Yeah. I mean, I think that's what people get mistaken all the time, right? They compare themselves to where we've seen the influencers or the doctors, where they are today.

where, for example, for you, it start off with being that environment or having that motivation. And then you start seeing the changes that's going on in your life, whether that's the diet or that's the, you know, your physical body just changing. And then you start having rules and the non -negotiable. I think that's what people mistakes a lot because like, he's six pack and he's running, you know, a hundred miles or he's doing this super strict plant based diet. But.

You know, they don't see in the work that goes behind closed doors that, you know, it started off with me not doing a sit up, then me playing football, then me cutting out like the fats, the processed things. And that's where you are today. Yeah. And a lot of it, too. Like, I think you're really just staying from just my care of overall health. When I look at the inner city communities, I think we're really targeted to not really be healthy. You think it's like I said, it's a lot of processed foods, a lot of fast foods.

And so eating healthy for me is a source of empowerment. I feel like it's a source of self -love and be like, you know what, I care about myself so much that I'm not going to eat these foods. That's going to increase my cholesterol or raise my triglyceride levels in my blood, which are going to lead to type two diabetes or being overweight or being obese and being able to live as an example of health. I can inspire with this my family members, work as a personal trainer, so my clients or just anybody that I come across, maybe some social media connections that I made to be able to.

to be an inspiration and a positive example of healthy living and not that everything's perfect, not that I gotta follow certain rules and regulations that just inspire people. You know what? Create your version of a healthy diet or healthy plant -based lifestyles, I like to call it, and make it your own and stick with those standards. And that's how you have a successful, healthy lifestyle as opposed to like something that's restrictive or you're following someone else's way of living that's not truly authentic to your own. Well, it seems like you got into an environment where...

It promotes the healthy living. Right. But what would you advise someone who is the opposite end of the spectrum on that? Like you're constantly bombarded with advertisements of, you know, in America, they have pharmaceutical advertisements, which is different than most other countries. What do you see that? And then you get these pills that none of fat loss pills or you see McDonald's at every corner of the street. Like, what would you advise someone who's probably want to get into?

a certain diet or in a physical shape of some sort, maybe, you know, cut out fat or lose weight. What would you advise someone to not get tempted on these temptations all around the city lifestyle? I think the biggest thing is just knowing your why. I think when you really know, like, all right, whether maybe your goal is weight loss or maybe you had family members that have passed away or they're dealing with chronic illnesses and you're like, you know, I don't want to end up like that or.

I want to reach this goal physically, just knowing your why is going to be the biggest thing to help you get to your goal and make help you stay consistent. Because I face a lot of temptations. I know when I first went vegan, like it's not a lot of places are plant based, not a lot of places that are accessible that sell foods that I like to eat. So it takes a lot of intention, a lot of preparation. And sometimes you just might have to be hungry if you're on a ride with a family member. And it's like, you know what? I just got to wait till I get home. However, really knowing that why is what's going to help you just stick with it.

and stay consistent and continue to progress on. Got it. Talking about back to plant based, what are the pros and cons about it? I think the pros are definitely just being able to feel your best. I think you're eating a lot of vibrant foods that are filled with a lot of vitamins, minerals that just help our body just work or function effectively and function optimally. And I think when we're not eating a whole bunch of processed foods that are going to weigh us down, have us feeling tired or we call it the itis, if you ever.

And the Thanksgiving meal, you're feeling too full, you get the eye that you know, you really don't feel that way. Eating plant based. Now you still can't overeat. You know, you still want to eat until they call it in the Okinawans, a Japanese community. Eat until you're a herahachi food, eat until you're about 80 percent full. So still eating, you know, a nice healthy amount of foods. However, you're getting a lot of fresh, you know, vitamins, minerals that are full in abundance out there that are bioavailable in our body can recognize, digest, easily absorb.

And then we could take that with us and be very energized and just functioned well. Now, is there cons to it? Cons to it? I'll say number one is definitely not a lot of options. So it's like you have to really be intentional sometimes about your, depending on where you're at. Definitely got to be intentional about just, you know, planning ahead. And then also too, you can save you're someone who's very active. You're not eating enough. You could definitely lose a lot of weight. That was something that I've come across during my plant based journey. I want to say back in like 20, late 2019, 2020.

I dropped all the way down to 125 pounds. Now high school I've averaged always around like 150. Maybe in college, like 170 and then now I'm about 160. But I dropped all the way down to 125, lost a lot of muscle. And that's because I just wasn't eating enough food, wasn't eating enough calories, wasn't eating enough protein to like maintain my muscle. And then also I was very stressed. The pandemic had really just hit. So I would just kind of go through a lot of anxiety. And I think just trying to be too perfect, whether it was juice fasting or...

trying to eat completely raw, which is just fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, nothing cooked. Ended up just losing just too much weight until my mom was just like, so you just getting too small. You gotta eat. So I started to make a shift in like 2020 and just started to eat more and ended up getting all the way to 184, which was like me had old belly again, love handles. Like now I got to cut back down. And that was a whole nother journey. It's like a whole cycle. So I've definitely been like high end of the spectrum of eating too much and then low end of the spectrum of not eating enough and being too light.

And now I've like kind of found my healthy medium. Yeah. It's the healthy weight. When you said you eat more to gain to where you are now, was that in quantities or did you have, you know, did you eat protein shakes? What was the difference in terms of eating habits? So I guess eating habits, like when I was 125, I was very strict on like intermittent fasting or juice fasting. So I might have ate between like 12 p and 7. Yeah. Or if I did eat in the morning, it was just straight fruit.

very little, like, I guess, complex carbohydrates, whether it's sweet potatoes or chickpeas or quinoa. And so not having those, like, I call them, like, foundational foods or foods that help to keep some healthy weight on you as a plant -based eater really helped me or really made me become very skinny, very frail. And the shift from there was just incorporating those foods back in, eating maybe about two or three meals a day. I'm still eating smoothies, still eating a lot of fresh fruit, fresh vegetables. However, just having those, like, sweet potatoes or chickpeas.

Now, as of late, I've been doing more like protein shakes. High quality sources of protein still like hemp seed protein powder. And I get another one that's made from a lot of ancient seeds. So still not a lot of fillers, not a lot of like unhealthy ingredients. Because even like protein shakes can have a lot of additives that we want to avoid still. But just having those like healthy sources of protein has definitely helped out too. So you wouldn't consider these protein shakes to be processed food? I guess in a sense they're processed. However, they're...

still made from just whole food ingredients. So I guess they go through like a process. You take a whole food ingredient like hemp seeds. I say hemp seeds versus hemp seed protein. The hemp seed you get the protein, you get the healthy fats, you get a lot of the vitamins and minerals. Now the protein you might get more of the protein, a little bit less of the healthy fats, a little bit less, I'm gonna say a little bit less vitamin and minerals, but you get more of the protein and less healthy fats. And I think the difference between the two is when it comes to being plant -based or the way I specifically eat, because I aim to not eat any soy either.

it's just because it could be, I guess, when you look at just the genetic makeup of soy and just for black people in general, I just shot it, just shy away from it. It might get a little too deep, but I just try to, just avoid soy as best as I can, just cause how we can impact the body from a black person, just cause I think everyone has their own genetic makeup and what they make, what someone needs to eat from a different race may differ from someone else. You know, just the research that I've looked into.

Soy isn't always the best. It can be a little more inflammatory. So I avoid it. And so with not having that soy in there, I've noticed that it can be a little more challenging to get protein. So I say if I wanted to get 100 grams of protein, which is normally what I range now, which is my go to goal. Without the protein shakes, I might just hit 50. Now with the protein shakes, even if they're hemp seed or maybe like a whole food source, it still allows me to get to that 100 grams. Yeah, that helps out. So that's been like a big difference now. Got it. Let's go back into.

eating habits and I think we could start from young when we're young. When we're young, we're given pretzels. I remember when I was in middle school, we were giving out the soft pretzels, the Philly pretzels, right? And then you have the sauce and those are pretty much processed and you got the sauce that's like super, super sweet. I loved them growing up, but I think that we're given a lot of processed food as we grow up and that's very hard, especially in schools, right?

When I was growing up in middle school, we were given all processed food, like wawa milk that we don't know. Nowadays, when you go to a coffee store or a coffee shop, they ask, what type of milk would you like? And a lot of people would go to these non -dairy milk. Which brings me to questions of what do you think can change as younger kids grow up in regards to food? How can we provide them with better foods? And obviously organic foods are more expensive.

schools are still a business. They have to make money. I got to pay people. So there's that margin. So what do you think schools can do now to educate kids with better food? They could grow healthier, less process. Just what are your thoughts on that? I think the main thing is just not trying to look at it like, all right, let's try to take away X, Y, Z. Let's just try to add more stuff. Maybe just adding more fruits and vegetables, adding more education around the benefits of eating healthy. Whether that's.

talking about diseases or maybe just energy levels or brain function, whatever the case may be, just educating them on why it's important to eat healthy foods. And then maybe also taking away a little bit, maybe taking away a little bit less candy, a little bit less sugar, because the harmful aspect of sugar is that it triggers dopamine receptors on our brain, so it can become very addicting. And so a kid may opt for the candy as opposed to the healthier fruits and vegetables, even though it's still sweet, still in a sense sugar. Sugar's a little bit different. However, the kid will opt for

the candy because they're developing more of an emotional attachment to it. So just kind of educating, maybe taking away just a little bit or maybe, all right, if you eat a, not only to try to make it like rewards and maybe if you eat a good serving of fruit, you can have some candy later. And so they're still getting just more of a well -rounded diet because no one's going to be perfect. Can't change everything, can't change everyone. I think if we could just add more fruits and vegetables, I think will help out. And then in addition to that, maybe just helping or if we can.

get kids more involved with gardening or just seeing like fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, and just letting them see everything grown from the root. And I think that'll be another way of just getting them more engaged, get them more into just like healthy eating, healthy living as opposed to like, all right, I just got to eat this fruit because my mom or because my teacher said so. And we can make it more like get them involved even with cooking. Maybe you have some cooking classes or things like that where they start to enjoy healthy eating as opposed to just looking at it as like.

a chore as a requirement that's put on them from a parent or authority figure. Yeah. But there's also the pricing aspect that's that's that's an issue because if I'm buying a salad, right, it's like seven dollars or eight dollars versus getting a bag of chips and and the soda that cost me two dollars or three dollars, however much based on inflations now. How even though we're educated, we know I think a lot of people know salads are relatively healthy, depending on where you get or what type of sauce is and what you put in there.

but it's definitely healthier than McDonald's. What do you think about that where there's that pricing differences in between, but then you could get full, I would say, right? You could get full from eating, I don't know, two Big Macs versus one salad from Chipotle or anywhere else. Gotcha. I think the biggest thing is looking at or asking yourself, when do you want to pay? So do you want to pay now or do you want to pay later? If you can pay now for healthy foods.

You don't have to pay later for a bunch of medical insurance or I don't see medical insurance. We're just like medical bills and having to deal with a lot of health complications later on in life. Because that's been one of the biggest things that's inspired me to stay with stay with it. I think the last couple of years and my grandma, she's still living. However, a lot of her her two sisters passed away due to health complications. So like kind of seeing, you know, just the first on hand is going to affect of like what can truly happen when we don't take care of our health.

And I'm pretty sure it's a lot of individuals out there who maybe have lost a loved one or maybe you have a loved one going through a health complication right now. And, you know, you can see what they're going through and you have to ask yourself again, do you want to pay now or do you want to pay later? So making that investment into your health is what's going to keep you living and flourishing. That'll also create another non -negotiable to that. When you do have that, it's a little pricey to maybe buy organic or maybe just buying fruits and vegetables. You say, you know what? I would rather invest into my health now as opposed to having to deal with.

a lot of health complications later on in life or even, you know, in your younger, younger ages, because a heart disease can develop from a kid or from a teenager, just by the plaque built up in the artery. So you don't have to wait till you're 50 or 60, 70 to develop heart disease. You can start developing that at a very young age. So we can take care of ourselves now. We can, you know, continue to expand our lifespan and then change the narrative, change the narrative of a lot of our future generations to be able to promote healthy living as opposed to promote endless cycles of.

you know, disease, being unhealthy, going to the doctor so much or hospitals. Yeah. And not really living as best as we could. Yeah. I like that, the delayed gratification because I think it's nowadays they just want to get the quick food, the quickest food, how we get full quickly and the cheapest food as possible. And usually fast food outside of the healthiness behind it. It's like fast food.

fills in those gaps pretty quickly. That is true. Once you have built that habit after 25 of eating unhealthy foods and being tempted into these quick and quick and ready food, it's kind of hard to get out of it. It definitely is. That's why I asked about the education of peace because, you know, one should teach young kids to eat healthy and work out because physical physical goes a long way. I think if you started young and you have

this habit of working out, eating good food, you will grow, you know, as old as possible. I think too, I think a lot of it has to start just at home, because I remember one of my classes in college, it was a nutritional class. We didn't really touch on so much about, we talked about, I guess, benefits of eating healthy a little bit. But a lot of it was more science -based and biology. We didn't really dive into like actual food health or food knowledge. Like a lot of what I've learned.

has come from like reading books of my own or studying different videos or I know what I was in Colorado. I attended like a health seminar that was hosted by someone who's plant based vegan. So like taking the time to step out of the health system or like the educational system and whether it's teaching our kids something different or educating ourselves. I think that's going to be a big thing because one of the inspiring another aspect of what made me want to stay healthy or keep my plant based nutritional lifestyle going was that.

My last year I was in college, I was taking a class and we were talking about heart disease. And I was reading it, that was the time I was starting to become vegan. I was reading in a book called African Holistic Health by Dr. Layla Africa. And my teacher, he was talking about heart disease. He was saying, we can't cure it X, Y, and Z. And I was saying, if you just, I was like, I asked him a question. I said, well, what if we don't eat cheeseburgers? What if we just limit certain foods that we eat? He's like, no, you can't change it. I'm like, well, you're lying because I'm studying different information. I'm learning different things.

And when you look at the science of it, if you reduce high inflammatory foods that don't spike the HDL or LDL cholesterol, the bad cholesterol, and our blood or increase our triglyceride levels, and you keep the arteries clear, you're not promoting heart disease, you're not promoting the chances of having clogged arteries or that plaque buildup, or that could lead to strokes and different things too. So you can, by eating healthy, exercising, keeping your stress levels low, not smoking.

You can lower your chance of developing heart disease. So once I started to kind of learn that I was like, all right, we're not being educated, you know, very well within our educational system. So I have to take the narrow within myself or I have to take the chance within myself to inspire and educate other people, which is why I post a lot on social media or just share with anyone, individuals that I'm talking to, like the importance of healthy eating and you know, we can change our, I want to say our future by just what we do now. And if we could do that, you know, we can.

really make big changes within the world. The pay now and the pay later. Yeah. There's one thing that I noticed what you're speaking of that these healthy habits come from two ways. I think yours is love. And what your teacher was mentioning is fear. Yeah. Right. When we're eating healthy, sometimes when we start, it's like, I like it. I enjoy it. And then you start building the habits. I feel like that's we both did that. Right. Younger.

But other people, once they realize, I have some sort of disease, maybe I have cancer or maybe I have the heart disease, things like that. And I feel like that's a change, like a shift. Like, okay, I gotta eat healthy now. It's like, I wanna live long, I wanna see my kids. So habits in general comes from love or fear. That's a good point. And I think if we can kind of start to shift the narrative of like, all right, we can...

not be fearful and just like, no, I love myself enough or I love my family enough to where I'm just gonna make these healthy habits stick. I think we'll have just health that lasts a lot longer as opposed to like once fear comes up, let me make a change. However, once the fear goes away, you can relapse and go right back to the same habits. We could just start moving from more of a place of love. I think we'll be much more consistent and build more sustainable habits long term.

I feel like the fear aspect is maybe the why for most people, right? It's an initiator. Exactly. Once they start figuring it out, it's like, no, time to change my diet, time to change my fitness. That is true. We're talking about eating habits, healthy eating habits. We talk about fitness. Now let's shift over into relationship, right? You got the physical aspect, right? But socially, how did that help you build confidence?

and just overall talking to people about these healthy habits and fitness. Gotcha. So I think food has a very powerful way of changing, I guess, our energy levels or kind of just open us up or aligning us to like just more life. I think once I started eating healthier, number one, I became more self -aware of just myself, whether it's how I'm feeling, my emotional states, different areas that I can grow in.

And I feel like my mind just started to become more open, especially eating more fresh organic fruits and vegetables, whole food sources, as we talked about before. And I don't know, I think just aligning myself in the perfect environments. One foundational piece of my life or part of my life is working at Mom's Organics as a grocery store on the East Coast chain or East Coast side of the U .S. And I worked there for, I want to say maybe six months, however.

I used to be very shy, kept to myself, and open up, talk to people. However, when I worked there and also getting my health coaching certification, I was pushed to just talk and communicate to more people because we would bag customers' groceries and have to talk and engage with them. And I just really started to just love to just be sociable and just tell the people, make it help, or have a positive impact on them, whether they're healthy or maybe just being a listening ear, being compassionate. So I think...

food has helped me just kind of open up to myself first and then also to other people. And so that'd be my answer for that question there. You were put in an environment, right? You were put in an environment of moms organic and you start speaking to people and coaching. But in terms of confidence, were you already confident then or was it because like you start feeling the change in your body, but you were good looking?

So confidence level confidence has definitely always been not I'm going to say it's been my strong suit. Like I want to find one a little more interpersonal. So I'm going to say like seven for eight. I don't think more a free in my group, my friends. We were in like middle school, high school or middle school, almost high school. Yeah. And we were like trying to talk to the older girls and like I will always just get like shunned and pushed away. And like I had a couple of instances in high school where I was just called ugly by girls. So like that really made everybody had to diminish on my confidence level and like.

It's affected me like even into my adulthood where I may not have the confidence to like go and speak to a girl or just open up and go talk to them or just like feel confident about my physical appearance. But I think just exercising has helped me out with a lot with that, like just being confident with my physical appearance, my body shape, my body style, and just my physique. And I think by incorporating fitness and also eating healthy has made me feel a lot better about myself because...

No, it was especially I want to say a couple years ago. I mentioned earlier I was up to 184 was kind of big at love handles. I didn't feel confident. I don't think me personally, I don't feel confident at a heavier weight or just like not being like toned up in the or fit in or in a physique level. So just having that confidence built in definitely helped me just open more with if it's talking to girls or just being more confident within my line of work currently working as a personal trainer. I'm kind of always put on the spotlight every day to lead people, lead movements, lead large groups.

So kind of just having that confidence level, that boost of just like, you know what? I feel good about myself. I look good. And it helps me just show up in the world a lot better, you know, in my daily lifestyle. Got it. And how well, what advice would you give someone who's maybe don't work out a little bit overweight and that lack of self -esteem and confidence? What advice would you give to them? I would say you have to love yourself where you are now and love your body because and that was something I had to tell myself. I...

I'm big on affirmation, so I read affirmations every day. And on my affirmation sheet, I wrote down, I love my body. And I had to start telling myself that because I got so frustrated because like growing up, always being fit, always having abs and to like get big and I have abs. Like it was definitely depressing. I was like, you know what? I wasn't loving myself. I wasn't waking up early. I didn't really have motivation. I lacked a lot of self -esteem. So I had to just love myself where I was then because that person.

at that state was going to be the person to really make the drastic changes. And once I started to find that self love, I was like, you know what? I started getting into the gym more, started being more consistent. And as I stayed consistent over time, I was able to get back to where I truly wanted to get to. And if I didn't take the time to love myself where I was in and love the person who was inspired to make a difference, I wouldn't have got to where I got to or I wouldn't have got to where I am now or where I wanted to reach a few years ago. What does that mean? Love yourself. Is that taking care of yourself or is that?

I think loving yourself is should be or I think a great way to love yourself is to root it in self compassion. I think you could be compassionate for your own mistakes, for your own imperfections, for areas of improvement. You allow yourself the ability to not be perfect and to actually grow and to improve as a person. So being compassionate is definitely one. I think other acts of self love could be whether it's eating a healthy diet, maybe.

not restricting yourself or taking yourself out on a date or something like that could be just form of self -love. However, I think rooting it in compassion allows you to not only be more forgiving and more sincere with yourself, however, you can take that same energy and take it to how you interact with the next person. Maybe it's your relationships or maybe it's your friends or your coworkers or clients. If you're working with clients and you could be more patient with their journey and be more accepting and embracing of them as you're accepting and embracing of yourself. Got it. So everything starts with you, I think.

I think that that's the most important thing. In my own story, I went, you know, I always was so hard about myself. I think that's coming from the Asian background of, you know, you have the affirmation as Asians and a lot of people can attune to that. A lot of my Asian friends can attune to this. Like we don't have affirmation from our parents. Right. You know, if we get 97 on a test, they ask us, why didn't you get a hundred? And it was never like a good job, at least in my story. And that...

And the reason why I'm saying that it translates over to my adult life, right? Where I think that I'm doing good compared to most people, but then I always tell myself, it's like, this is not good enough. It's never good enough. I don't feel like, even like during running, it's like, maybe I'm faster than most people. But then like, it's not good enough compared to, you know, the next person who's doing running like seven days a week and kind of around like a five minute mile, right? So you always...

Beat yourself up. And for my own definition, like the self love is saying it's OK. OK, just keep going. You know, I think Jordan Peterson talked about this a lot. You want to compare yourself to your old self. I think that's very, very important. And that's what I've been doing a lot now. Like, whatever, any goals that I want to make, like I really see started running again. And I started running really a lot stronger, a lot more consistent and towards the end of my college years. And I was running a lot.

However, it was really hard to put on muscle or put on weight. I was plant based at the time. I was about 150 and I wanted to get to like 160, 165. However, as I said, it was a struggle to run. So now looking back and I'm like, all right, let me start running again. Let me try to be more on top. I can be on top of my diet. I can eat enough foods. I have a little more control in my diet compared to then, and I could just be a better version of myself. And I think that's something.

that I've learned to do because I used to base a lot of my success, whether that was social media or maybe an influencer or somebody that I'm looking up to or maybe even just the next person that's doing something in the same field. I'm like, I'm not really appreciating my success or maybe I'm not working towards my own unique, authentic goals. And once I started to once I got fat, I'll just say, I got big, got fat. I was like, you know what? I got to get back to this person when I was in when I was healthy and shape.

I was feeling my best and I made myself my screensaver. I was like, you know what? I'm going to get back to this person. That's interesting. For a while, just to help me zone in and just like make my own authentic goals and not try to live under someone else's standards. Comparing yourself to other people. Success. So I think that was something that was big for me too. I had another point you mentioned, but continue. Yeah. Well, talking about comparing yourself. I think when we compare ourselves to other people, we compare it to their successes.

but not necessarily their downfalls. Right? And it's like, if you want to be like them, are you able to accept the fact of all these issues and all these problems that they have in their life? Are you able to take that with you in order for them to be successful? And I think majority of the time is like, no, it's like, wow, that sounds rough. And I don't know how to react to it or make decisions out of it. And if I'm putting in that situation. So I think thinking about that where.

You don't want to be in their shoes at their weakest or the downfalls. And that would deter yourself from comparing yourself to their success. And there's always too, it's like asking yourself, am I willing to do what that person is doing? Like if someone wants to become a millionaire, are you willing to do everything that comes with becoming a millionaire? Maybe that comes with sacrificing family time or sacrificing enjoyment. Maybe you got to really be super tight and disciplined on your financials and how much you're spending. It's like, are you really?

Are you really willing to get to that level or do the things that the next person doing? That's when I had to ask myself too, like a lot of a couple of years ago, like I was big on, I want to have X, Y, Z amount of money. I want to have X, Y, Z house. I want to do this. Want to do that. And I was kind of in a chase for more. And then I just, I read a book called The Heart of the Buddhist Teaching. It's been a very transformational book. I bought it in 2019. I don't think I read it until like 2021. But it really played a big impact in my life and just, and the whole point of the book is turning suffering into joy, liberation and peace.

And it talked about just, you know, finding more. And this is why I love mindfulness so much because it's just about being aware of our states, being aware of our life and just being more compassionate. However, it just made me really ask myself, all right, is this chase more really worthy or is it really necessary or can I find more joy, you know, where my feet are planted? And that doesn't mean that I can't strive for more, strive for certain things or grow financially X, Y, Z. However, I can be happy where I am. And then also.

take my happiness from where I'm at and develop more authentic goals that will allow me to, you know, pursue success or pursue desires that are more aligned with my vision of how I want my life to go as opposed to like, all right, if this person is a millionaire, I need to get there and I need to do X, Y, Z that that person is doing. Like, no, I can sit back and really assess like, all right, well, what do I want to do and live more genuinely? And I think by doing that, we can live much more peaceful, much more simple and that we can develop more true happiness and joy, which will...

you know, really boost our relationships, help which will really boost up our relationships with ourselves and other individuals, how we show up at work. And I even look at it like at times in the past, I would get so frustrated maybe at jobs, like I was working at Moms Organics. My whole goal for becoming an entrepreneur was that so I didn't have to work a job. However, if I would have just been able to find just peace and happiness, you know, at the job, I wouldn't have quit earlier. I wouldn't have had to go through certain financial hardships that I did, you know, after I had quit.

Just from being frustrated, I'm in the system. I don't want to work X, Y, Z. I got to get out where I could have just, you know what, found happiness and peace where I was. I just kept on working day to day to get to where I wanted to get to. However, everything's a life lesson and part of the journey. So I'm not regretting it. However, I could have been much more peaceful where I was at then. And that's something I try to take with me, you know, working a job now and wherever I'm in the future. How long did it take or what methods did you do to figure them?

figure out that that was for you. I guess reading books helps me out a lot because I can read a lot of books, read a lot of personal development books, and it just helps me see the world differently. Or I really see the world differently to just see my own perceptions of the world differently. And I can like if I'm reading something that's about my business or any type of personal development book, I can take what the author has written in the book, kind of conceptualize it. Think about how my habits on a day to day basis or my way of living or my way of looking at life.

kind of whether if it frustrates me or angers me or makes me feel a certain way, how can I kind of get out of that downward spiral to be more content, more peaceful with where I'm at? And I think through reading helps me really just kind of grow and develop more authentic goals. Yeah. And you become more self -aware of reading. I read a lot of self -help book too. And they build up the questions in your brain. Like, why am I feeling this way? Or if someone...

If someone says something to me, why do I get angry so quickly? Any self -help book that you would recommend for someone to start reading to be more self -aware in their life? I think the two would be again, The Heart of the Buddhist Teaching. I think that's one book that made me just very self -aware. And then another one is called My Philosophy, -A -A -T Philosophy.

And that book had a very big transformation or played a big part of my transformation just as a person. I read it in about, I think, 20, 2019, 2020. And it just stands for truth, justice, peace, harmony, and is what they practiced in ancient Egypt. And so I just kind of reading the book and it's about just living more righteous, treating, you know, yourself with kindness, treating other individuals, the world with just more compassion and care. And I think it really just made me look at life differently and it helped me just develop.

Just more care for other individuals. I think if we can do those or by reading at least those two books, they help me the most on my journey. And I think if other people, if the world will read those two books, I think the world would be a much happier, healthier and peaceful place. Interesting. Okay. I want to shift gear here and talk about relationships. I know this is going to be a sensitive topic, but one of the things that you mentioned even before recording this was the breakup that you went through.

And that created kind of like more self -development and self -awareness for you as well. Do you want to talk about that real quick? We can talk about them. So I've had in my life, I haven't had too many relationships, like deeply committed relationships. However, the two I've had in high school, as you know, we were in high school together. High school, after high school, broke up with my girlfriend at the time. And then recently, was in a really good relationship. And I want to say the end of 2023, I think we just...

started to go in separate ways. And for me, when it comes to breakups, I have a hard time letting go. I've done therapy recently, too, and like going through different things and how I deal with abandonment, which I've correlated to just with my dad. My dad isn't in my life as physically as I would like him to be. He's always been supportive, helped me out with college, paying for financials and things like that. However, maybe not there as physically or emotionally as I would have liked. So I think whenever I come across, whether it's a breakup or a relationship where,

I may face certain triggers of abandonment and really can cause a big downward spiral within myself and like cause me to really question my self -value, my self -worth. However, I will say like those two times have helped me. That's where I've seen my most development as a person internally and a lot of growth. I want to say compared to my previous relationship breakup from 2016, 2017, it hasn't affected me that much as I've grown a lot then and like now.

my most recent breakup, it's definitely was tough. I think all breakups are a form of like death in a sense because their relationship dies. You know, you won't see that person in the same capacity as you once saw them. You missed the person. Yeah. And throughout the course of the healing journey these past couple of months, I've definitely gone from, you know, being sad, being depressed, being lonely. Like I said, questioned to my own self and my self worth. And really you start to.

develop like, you know, that person was there in your life for, you know, a period of time where you got accustomed to certain things and not having their physical presence, like their presence there is hard. You start to know, you start to feel that they died in a sense and they're just not there. So kind of just going through that was a very just traumatic. However, at the same time, life changing and transformational process of a journey so far. That's why I think breakups are important, especially for guys and gals, just because.

Especially in the first one, the first one hurts the most. It's like, it's, you know, I thought that I could live or, you know, be with that person forever. But then that forever kind of ended after a few years or a couple of months, it doesn't matter. And then you start feeling those emotions like, am I good enough? Or what did I do? Yeah, what did I do wrong? That's like, important to break up. And then hopefully you don't be kind of bogged down by that. Yeah.

And you start asking yourself these questions, these self -awareness questions. You start being more analytical. At least that was for me. And you start seeing transformation, you start seeing personal development. What are a couple things that you notice about yourself after the breakup? And what are a couple growth things that you've done? I think the biggest thing, or the biggest way that I've been able to grow is to learn how to forgive and not...

try to not hate the person. Cause it's like, develop so much of, I feel like we subconsciously just develop so much of our identity in that person and the person we are in a relationship is like, once it's over, once they leave or maybe they don't want us anymore, it's like we start to, I guess, put ourselves down. And so we can develop rather as resentment or anger or hatred, which is I went through all of those emotions. I think the big, compared to my first breakup to now,

I just sat with the emotions. I let them just kind of run their course, let them flow. They didn't try to say, I shouldn't be hating this person. I shouldn't be doing this. Let me try to push the emotion down. No, I just accepted it. I embraced it. And I, you know, one thing I try to do with my emotion now, whether if it's a quote unquote positive one or a quote unquote negative one, I try to just open the door, open the door to the emotion, treat it with kindness, treat it with compassion and care, let it know that I'm there to help and support that part of me.

Because I feel like we try to hate a certain emotion is pretty much hating a part of ourselves. So we can, you know, show care and love to those emotions or maybe ways of looking at life or looking at our relationship and just be aware of it. We're able to really, you know, sit with it, grow and kind of let it just whether it's diminished or let it go away or just let the emotion open up a door and just leave it on its own as opposed to like suppressing it and pushing it down. I think that's one of the worst things that we do as humans is that we take our

experiences, we take things that we go through, we develop emotions about them, and we suppress them. And due to those suppressed emotions, they show up in our relationships. So they might show up at work, or they show up within ourselves. And that can lead to many downward spirals, I think, from addiction to self -sabotage to maybe not showing up in the world, or maybe we want to work towards something, we can't get the motivation to do it, because a lot of those suppressed emotions are allowing us to, you know,

show up in the world as our best. So we can treat those emotions with more kindness and care and compassion. I think we can develop just more inner self -love and then that self -love can radiate into how we show up with other people. Yeah, that's hard, right? That's the pressing aspect. I think after a breakup, well, it's a strong thing that you're doing that you're understanding yourself, that you love yourself being more compassionate. But I feel like at least in my experience with my friends, like they're all, I would say,

distracting themselves after a breakup. Like you start going out and you start going to the gym, you kind of distract yourself from that analytical aspect of like, okay, what did I do wrong? How can I improve? As opposed to, I'm going to work out like seven times a day and hopefully, you know, this pain from working out, like it'll forget. Yeah. So it's kind of substitute the pain from the emotion itself, but.

And I feel like I've done that in the past. And I feel like maybe I don't really I think a lot of times we may try to distract ourselves, whether it was with alcohol or smoking or maybe other sex or get into different relationships right after right after a breakup. And I think for some reason, the course of my journey, I don't smoke, I don't drink, not to say anyone can do that, or that it's like a bad thing, quote unquote. And I've also never really went from one relationship and hopped right into another one.

Like I did a little bit in college. However, I just felt like there was no emotional connection. It was no, no. The energy just fell off. And then since then, I just never really did it again. So I've always kind of in a way forced myself to just deal with the pain and deal with the emotion. My mind, because it sucks. Like I ain't gonna lie. It sucks having to just like go through a lot of that pain and really just face it and grow from it. And like in the past, I would use working out would be like a way of an outlet.

I mean, recently, like working out wasn't helping. Like it was times where like I would go to work as a personal trainer and sit in a gym called City Fitness. So I want to say my breakup happened in December of 2023 and it was tough December. And in January, like February, it was periods of time where I would just go in the bathroom and kind of just cry. Really? Wow. I just had emotional breakdowns. Like it was it was crazy because a lot of this recent breakup really

open the door for a lot of things suppressed emotions for myself. And I had no choice but to really deal with them. And one thing I try to work through my emotions through poetry, so I would just write whether it was writing on physical paper, writing notes in my phone or writing different poems in my phone. But it was periods of time where I would just go in the bathroom and just cry or like have a tough time getting through my day or I might talk to a coworker or a friend just kind of lean on them for some emotional support. Yeah. And also to my previous ex, like we were.

still talking a little bit. I could lean on them for support. And then it came to a period of time where we just had to go our separate ways. And one thing I'm learning now is to still not have that resentment towards her. It can still be challenging on a day to day basis. However, I try to just be aware of those thoughts and try to just maybe either think of a happy time or maybe just do my best to move with self love. And one thing about me is that I could be so loving and caring and compassionate.

that I'm easy to forgive or open the door or try to make things work. And that's one thing I've had to learn just not to do and just know when it's time to just, you know, it's just time to cut ties and, you know, just start to move on. Even though it sucks and it's hard and it's challenging, you don't want to move on from somebody that you genuinely love and care about deep down. However, you know, if someone doesn't want you in their life or if things are just not working out, you have to eventually just learn to move on as something that I'm still conceptualizing and moving through.

Or if it's just day by day, just taking it step by step and moving on. Yeah, it's difficult because, you know, the song calls fallacy where once you started that relationship and then time goes on, you felt as though you invested the time and effort and money, right, into this relationship. And the longer it takes, the less likely you will let go. So that's a hard part. And I feel like childhood plays a big part of this. My parents wasn't there for me emotionally. So...

I had to learn things on the way and sometimes it's hard for me to let go of things. I was in a similar shoes as you are too. It's tough. It's definitely tough and challenging. I think the biggest thing to take from it is just that I just had this thought in my head, but it's just to, I guess just embrace it and just kind of just continue to progress on. You know, we can only change but so much. It comes to a point in time where we have to just forgive ourselves. I think that's another big thing is you have to...

Take accountability for your own healing. I think by sitting, because a breakup is easy to go off. They did this, they did wrong. They did me that. As opposed to playing like the victim role is to, you know, just take accountability. Say, you know what? I accept maybe not letting go or not leaving or not walking away. I accept or I embrace that. I was the reason I kept them, allowed them to keep coming back into my life. And once we take accountability for our wrongdoings, we can also take accountability for our healing.

And then we can start to forgive ourselves in addition to forgiving that person. And we can start to move with more peace and love. And I think if we can also maybe just think of what we learned from the relationship and how we grew as a person, I think that also helps us to be like, you know what? I have faith in my own journey. I have faith in like a higher power, whether it's God or follow a different religion. It's easy to just say, you know what? I have faith in my journey. I have faith in my higher powers and they're guiding me in a way to teach me certain things.

got me on certain less cause things you'll learn in one relationship you could take it to, you know, another relationship or maybe just a relationship with yourself. Like one of the biggest things that I've learned from our previous relationship was to just be vulnerable. And I think through being vulnerable with myself and with others is a great way just of just self empowerment and we can live more authentic and genuine and boost up our relationships all around. Yeah. That full vulnerability is very important. I can't say that word correctly. Vulnerability. It's, it's, it's, it's a word that

us guys, like men, right? We don't know what that means, especially emotions, because when we're grown up, at least how I was growing up, like we have to be strong. We have to provide for our family or for our partners. But sometimes that showing emotions is a weakness. Like we were shown that growing up. What do you think that sets that? Because, you know, we're...

We have to be strong. We have to like emotion as a weakness. Like these type of things are ingrained in us. And you mentioned that you cried in a bathroom. Like if my parents saw me crying in a bathroom, it's like, you know, get up. It's like, what are you doing? I think the biggest thing is probably just, and I try, I try not to show it, but I'm just like, I'm vulnerable open. I also think that, you know, through my expression, I'm able to help the next person here, whether it's a listener, a viewer or somebody I'm close with. I think through just.

Say the question one more time. Vulnerability. What are your thoughts and kind of how do you get passed by the fact that we're so bogged down with the environment saying that men have to be really strong? I think it's a messed up way. F**ked up way. That men have to be like just so strong and have to put on this like Superman cape. See, I have a Superman tattoo. But just have to be like Superman every single day and that, you know, showing any type of emotion.

as quote unquote weakness. I think a big part for me has just been growing up with my mom. So I didn't really have like a I would say even my dad's not even like that, but I didn't have like the father figure that was in my life that's like, you got to be X, Y, Z. You can't cry. You can't do this. You got to pick yourself up. Don't show no sign of weakness. I didn't have that in my life. So I think I was able to be more like kind and soft hearted. I think my relationship with my mom and just being growing up with my mom and grandma primarily has really helped me.

even with my relationships with women, I feel like I have just a very deep care and compassion. I tend to develop more women or more lady friends. Just like I gravitate and feel more comfortable with women, which is something I'm also growing out of, like trying to also develop, you know, male friends and be like, all right, I'm cool with men too. I don't just have to be like always friends of women. Cause I think it's very easy to like, we pick our side. If you spend more time with your mom, you might develop more lady friends and we're just female friends as opposed to like, if you spend more time with your dad, you might develop more male friends. Interesting.

My therapist even kind of pointed it out to me too. That's a little more natural. And so like, I think that's played a big role in just me being able to be vulnerable. And then my last relationship, one thing she had on her wall was that it's okay to be vulnerable. And like when we first started hanging out and I first started to get to know her, she was one of the first females that I was able to interact with outside of my mom or grandma that I was able to actually be vulnerable with and like express myself to and not be looked on as like soft or weak.

or anything like that. So I think she played a pivotal role too, and just allowing me to open up and be more strong and embracing, you know, my vulnerable side and things that may look weak on the outside world actually can be strengths and help me become better with the best, better person, better father, better brother, son, sibling, whatever case may be. I could just be a better person in life. Women love vulnerability. I think that's one thing because you show a lot of emotions.

For guys, we're always comparing ourselves to other guys in terms of physical attributes, like how much money we have or what type of assets, how many houses, things like that. I think what women want is our emotions. Like how do we feel about certain things? Like tell us more about that and we could have conversations. What are your experiences on that with your female friends? I think it generates more trust and more care and just like...

more of an authentic friendship. Because like, even for me, I think the biggest thing that can be a big turnoff is like anything sexual for a man. I think that's the biggest thing that men can be seen as is like sexual predators or everything is always centered around sex. And so I think by being aware of that, and I'm saying, I'm not saying that, all right, I don't get sexual urges or anything like that. But I think if we can, as men, be aware of certain emotional states within ourselves, whether that's sex, whether...

that could be greed or maybe just like power, just like always got to have certain things our way. I think we can develop more wholesome relationships and more like trusting actual bonds to where we don't for where women, whether because you never I think everything that impacts relationship is something that is is based upon what something done or what something is something that someone has been through in their past. Like their experience basically. So say, for instance,

someone was sexually abused. Or as a man, if you can be aware of just how triggering that can be in your partner or whether it's your friend, then you can act in a way that doesn't trigger them. Maybe you can be more compassionate and more kind to those tender sides of your partner. And I think through vulnerability with them and open up and being more expressive and getting to learn our partner in addition to learning ourselves, we're able to just generate just stronger bonds and stronger relationships.

And that's one thing I learned from the heart of the Buddhist teaching is like one thing in mindfulness and one thing they, I want to say preach, one thing they like really spoke on in the book was that understanding is the root of love. And to be able to understand someone, you can, you know, have more of a free or a relationship that's built in freedom as opposed to like restriction or restricting or like possessive rules. And I think that's something that has helped me within my relationship, whether it's with just lady friends or female partners, I think by just...

being more compassionate towards them, being more aware of like what men go through. Because sometimes too, like I don't even like being in a box. Boxing is like y 'all or if women say, men are X, Y, Z. I don't really like being put in that box because I don't view myself as that. Because it's like men do some fucked up stuff. And it's just like, it's not healthy. What do you think that is? You said why? Yeah. Where does it come from? I think it comes from just greed. I think it comes from greed. And then also just the programming that we have is like men have...

have to be just like strong and I don't want to say barbaric, but just like everything may have to go like a man's way, X, Y, Z. And also too, I think we've been programmed as men, we've been programmed in a way to not really be, or I guess I want to say, I want to say like given to our feminine energy, but also just like given to those softer natures of ourselves. So where it's like, all right, we can be vulnerable, we can be expressive, we don't have to hold everything in. It's okay to cry, you know, it's okay to be upset. That doesn't make us weak, you know.

And we can still be strong and empowered. And I think through going or by shining light on our areas of improvement, I don't know, I say area, our weaknesses, but just areas of improvement, we can start to grow and develop as men. And then we don't have to have that narrative like, I have to be this like strong man. I got to put on this Superman cape for the world. Because even as a trainer, like I try to open up to my clients, like I don't try to be like this perfect trainer who doesn't go through anything, but or like is never tired. Like, I know I'm, if I'm tired, I'm still human.

I still have X, Y, Z emotions. I still feel certain things. And I think through that, we can generate more authentic relationships and we gain more true respect as opposed to just like, this person's here. And then we kind of become idolized in a sense. So I think it's maybe more open. Yeah. Yeah. Well, social media plays a huge impact on it. I think, you know, whatever that you're scrolling, the algorithm.

on your phone, on Instagram, Facebook, or whatever social media that you use affects you deeply. And I think a lot of social media, they talk about all the successes, right? You have to be this guy in the fancy suit driving the Lamborghini. And kids see that nowadays. They think that's what success is. They don't find that balance. They think that, I'm going to get to Dan Bilzerian. You get all the women that you want. You get these 10 women. You go to a club.

You're drinking, you know, you get the most expensive bottles, you drive the most expensive cars. But in all honesty, that's just deterring you from just being a normal person. And I think the biggest thing if we can, I read in a book, I can't, it was by Eric Tolle. I can't remember which one of his books, it might have been The Power of Now or A New Earth, either one of those two books. He says, don't let a mad world tell you that success is anything but just being present in the moment.

So like we could put quality of work into what we're currently doing. That's going to dictate our future. So we could just be present and we could just be mindful of what we have to be happy with what we have. I think we could develop more just success on a day to day basis and not look like, I didn't I didn't get X, Y, Z amount of money yet. I'm not successful. I wasn't able to move, you know, to this place. I wasn't I'm not successful. Like for me, a big thing a couple of years ago was moving out of the inner city because like the block that I grew up on, I still live on the same block.

So, like, I used to be very just, I hate living here. I can't stay in this place. I'm tired of this, tired of that. And like, I would develop so much frustration and I was creating like my own problems just because like, and a lot of it was subconsciously what I've seen on Instagram or comparing myself to the next person. I don't have a car, X, Y, Z. Like a lot of the things that I didn't have, I was just getting so frustrated about to where I just came to a point. One of my good friends, she told me that, you know,

you're not trapped or you're not just here, like you're everywhere. Like as a spiritual being, you know, you're everywhere, you're abundant. And once I started to kind of grasp that and conceptualize it, I was able to kind of free myself from a lot of those frustrations, a lot of those burdens that were just making me very unhappy and not appreciate what I actually have. And now it's funny because like I'll look at, I still live in the same house and like I'll look at it and be like, you know what? I actually enjoy where I'm at now. Like I have my garden set up. You know, it's my house. I have my family around.

And I'm much more grateful for what I do have as opposed to looking at, you know what? I don't have X, Y, and Z. And I'm mad and like I will work. And like my work ethic would be fueled from that anger. Like, I got to get out of this place. Let me keep working hard. As you were saying earlier, like just that work work work. And I couldn't rest, couldn't sleep. I got to keep going, striving for more. And once I was able to kind of just find that peace where I was, a lot of that, I guess, mental tension, anxiety kind of evaporated and went away from me for like, I got to keep doing more. Yeah. One thing that helped me.

over the past few years has been the social media detox or quasi detox. I know you've done like a complete detox. Like for me, it's a little bit different where I turn off all my socials during the weekday. Now that I have the podcast set up, I kind of on and off. I'm thinking about just getting another phone for social media just so I could post and continue to work on the podcast. But, you know, before starting a podcast, I would delete my social media on the weekdays.

And just turning back on the weekends just because one, I'm in the real estate industry. I want to keep up to date with what's going on in the city and what other people are doing as well and catching up to friends. So that's why I did that. It was like that quasi, but on a weekday, it's like, just be more productive, be mindful. And it does help a lot. You know, that social media, that psychological behind it's that, you know, we're so bogged down into thinking that someone is better because they all...

Everyone is posting all their accomplishments and their success on social media. And that affects us greatly, especially in the younger generations where they so glued into their phones, like, like figuring out like, this is what success is. And that become the education in their brain. But at the end of the day, it's just be more mindful. It's just like, what's going on right now? Do you have food on the table? Do you have, you know, a roof over your head? That's all you need, right? Like, you know, people in America, they have it so good.

Like when I went back to Indonesia, it was like, it was terrible. Kids didn't have electricity during the day. And, you know, even if you're going to school, you're not going to get a future because there's nothing much in that island that I was in that you have opportunities. It's like, even you go to school, yeah, you're going to be smart, cool, but you're not going to Harvard or Stanford, right? And that's just a huge dream for them.

I want to say real quick, quick point on that, because like even with the social media detox, like I took just recently, I took 10 months off of it. And I think that's a long time. And I think through that, it's just like I can find more peace and just like not having a day to day I'm seeing what this person is doing, seeing what that person is doing, seeing this influence that happens. Nowadays, as I got back on social media, all you see is suggested posts. So you don't really see too many of your friends like post. You just see like what Instagram is suggesting for you to see. So it's like.

You can't even really escape so much of the, I got to live like X, Y, Z manner. And so nowadays, like I still just use it for just to inspire the people to live healthy or maybe business or just kind of catch up. We'll see what my friends are doing. But yeah, it could definitely be very detrimental just like creating that psychological image of what success is. Yeah. And what you consume on social media and podcasts and just anything is just as important as your environment. Right. And what you're eating.

And what you're eating. Exactly. If you're consuming content that's violent or maybe bad habits, you're going to be into it because you're so clued into the phone. Then it's going to just shape your subconscious and what's going to eventually play out in your own life. Yeah. It's just weird because you search up something on Google and next thing you know, it shows up on Instagram and shows up on other platforms. Like, why am I getting this? It's a big thing. Yeah. Tell them about habits.

I know you have journal and you've been doing that for a while. Yeah. Tell us more about that in your process. So journaling. I started journaling in 2019. One of my health, my first health coaching client, she asked about, she said she journal and then I'll just kind of generate different journal posts for our meetings each week. And from then I just been journaling on. It was like a period of time where I might have fell off a little bit. But I want to say for the past like two years, maybe I've journaled every morning and what it does for me, it just.

Allows me to do a few things. One, just see how I'm feeling on a day to day basis, kind of checking in with myself mentally. Maybe journal about a certain experience or maybe set out positive energy for my day or for the month or for the week. And then also just express gratitude. And what it does for me, especially just grounds me in the morning. I feel like we deal with a lot of chaos every day in our life, whether that's, you know, certain bills, certain anxiety, certain structures at work, family, X, Y, Z. However, for me, journaling is a part of my morning routine.

And just taking that time in the day to just sit with myself and, you know, gravitate more internal peace just allows me to just set the foundation for the rest of my day. And so when I'm engaging with other people, I might face a stressful situation. I can handle it with much more, I guess, self -awareness, much more maturity and not let it get me or bog me down too much. And I could just show up a lot more successfully in that moment. Yeah. Journaling definitely opens up your mind, right? It's like a...

self -therapy in a way because you're, and I think that's the most important thing for self -awareness because you just sit down, whether you're typing or you're writing down using your notebook, like you're getting at all your feelings. You're asking yourself these questions. One thing that I started doing in my journal is the, well, I've been doing gratitude now, but putting more time into that gratitude space.

I know you're more like free flowing when it comes to joy, but I'm more like structured. And one of the sections is like the gratitude aspect. And sometimes when I first started, I would just write, I'm grateful for this. I'm grateful for my cat or I'm grateful for my partner. I'm grateful for my parents. But then if you add just a little bit more time, because that took me five to 10 seconds to write it down or just type it. But then if you dedicate yourself to two minutes.

you start thinking really hard. It's like, okay, I'm very grateful at that situation and Starbucks that, you know, I had a bad day and the cashew was really, really nice. And she gave me a smile. Like she gave me a coffee and a smile and that kind of. I'm able to do that too, because I keep my own morsel. Just like I kind of list things I'm grateful for. So like you said, just kind of really digging in and definitely to like, all right, well, I'm grateful about this. However, maybe look at you said, like look at how the rest of your day was.

kind of be able to bring it full circle and like, why was it such a great experience to be grateful for? So that's a great way to look at it, to start doing that myself too. Gratitude is like the antidote for comparison. Why don't you just start being like, okay, I'm really grateful for the things that I have. Then you start, you stop comparing yourself to other people. That is true. And it's to see for more, it's like, if you can't be grateful for what you currently have, it's like, do you really deserve to have more? Yeah. So if you can be grateful for what you have, it's like you open up to...

the door for just like, you know what? I can be accepting and more embracing for more blessings to come. It's like having that gratitude is something that's very important. Got it. In terms of, you start your day with journal. Talk about, we talked about this pre -recording, but what does that successful day look like for you? So I'd say successful day for me is just staying consistent in doing what's important. I think one thing that's always kept me aligned and...

What I like to do is kind of seeing like, all right, well, what things are important to me and let me try to get into them. So a successful start for my day always consists of, you know, waking up, journaling, saying my affirmations, meditating, getting a workout in. It depends on how much I'm working out, but at least I do some form of movement, which could be lifting weights. It could be walking, maybe going for a run and just that's like a successful start to my day. And then from there, it's just taking care of.

things that allow me to live with purpose. So working as a personal trainer, being able to help people improve their health with fitness and also educating them on the importance of exercising. Or maybe if they're going through something, you know, one of my recent clients, she's been going through a breakup. So like just being there as a person of support and to listen to her and be more compassionate and let her know that, you know what, we're in this together, you know, sticking through it, rocking with you or maybe just helping somebody smile. Like just that living with purpose. They could be me social posting on social media.

engaging with my family. And also too, purpose can also be whatever we want to make it to be. So it could be maybe just going for a walk or taking time to settle myself mentally. A lot of those things build up success for me on a day to day. And then also making sure I'm staying on top of my eating. I think the biggest thing is when it comes to health is that.

We don't make time for eating healthy in America. I know a lot of the struggle puts my client is like diets. We can get to the gym. However, someone wants to put on muscle. They may not eat enough to put on muscle. And it just comes to like, I get too busy. I get to this. And I think for me being intentional with my eating, staying on track of it, making sure I'm getting enough meals and also to just to be healthy. I'm not trying to get skinny again. So just making sure I'm eating enough. That's something that's also important. And I think to just taking time to spend taking.

the time to spend with my family. I think that's one of my continuing struggle points sometimes that I get so busy or like, I got to do X, Y, and Z. I got to do this guy today. I may not give as much time with my family. So that's something I've been working on now. It's just like, you know what? Let me just take a minute to my little sister wants to show me something. Let me just stop and just look at it. Yeah. You only take five minutes or maybe just have a quick conversation with my mom or grandparents and just, you know, while my family is here, let me appreciate them. Let me be grateful for them. Let me actually enjoy their presence.

I was watching a doc. It was kind of like a one part documentary on We Are the World, the song. So Lionel Richie Michael Jackson. Yeah. So Lionel Richie's dad, he said the house will always be there, but the people in the house won't always be there. And it was just like, once he said that, I was like, you know what? Let me start to be a little bit more grateful just for the people that I live with. And, you know, just take just to be more aware of just, you know, everyone's not going to be here forever.

You know, impermanence is a real thing and that we can have that in our mind, you know, nothing's going to last forever. So let me, you know, really appreciate those that I care about, those that care about me to add value to my life. Let me care about them to the best of my ability. Yeah. So that, you know, I can never have any regrets. Because I also read in the heart of the Buddhist teaching, one, I'm a teacher now, my wife on this book, he said, when people die, we don't we face regret because we didn't take the chance to be present while they were here. Yeah. And so.

I think if we can start to just be more present within our daily lives with those that we whip doing things that we enjoy, we can really have successful days and just have more fulfillment each and every day. Yeah. I mean, I read the book, Fivit Vision, and it talks about what is that successful day, like the future you successful day. And it pretty much hit the spot on what you're talking about. It's like, how am I helping others purpose, right? And then...

.I .C. my family, whether that's your partner or parents or kids. And then the physical aspect is important too. It's like continuously like that's why I created this podcast, like the health, wealth relationship, right? You have that relationship with your parents, your family, the whole nine years. And then you have the health aspect where are you taking care of yourself physically, mentally, psychologically? Are you thinking straight? Are you getting that workout in? Are you eating good? And then that...

wealth aspect is similar to a purpose. It's like you're going out there, you're training with these people and you're kind of pushing them their boundaries and obviously providing some value to their life and that is your purpose. I think those three pillars are important as your day to day. And I think too, like wealth is always, I think the first for a lot of people, I think wealth, even for me sometimes, when we hear the word wealth, we instantly think of money. And I think...

Wealth doesn't always have to be with money because money is going to come and go. I think when it comes to money, as long as we can pay for our expenses, whether that's bills or food or whatever the case can be, we can do our leisurely activities. They could be traveling, you know, whatever case, whatever you like to do. I think the money is going to come and go. However, our true forms of wealth, like you say, family, purpose, community, our own physical, mental well -being. I think if we can start to put more focus on those as being wealth as a society.

I think we'll have more love in the world. I think a lot of the detrimental points of the world and just like humans come from just selfishness. And I think a lot of times people go towards money based off of their own individual ways of looking at life or just wants and needs. And then we can start to just look at, you know what? This community is this form of wealth. This family or this food that I'm eating is forms of wealth. And we can start to generate and cultivate.

just a loving environment for humans, for future generations, for animals. It's become more compassionate. So I think if we can shift the narrative of what wealth truly is, we'll be much more fulfilling and as a whole, we'll have a better society. Yeah, just it's hard, man. It's hard being a guy, right? It's like sometimes you want to wake up. It's like, I want to make more money today or I want to be healthy today. It's like you have so many pillars in your life that you have to continuously work on.

I want to shift gear here and talk about your book. Okay. I know you have you have a book coming up or maybe you already published it. So I'm working on it still just in the publishing phases. I've been soft launching it just so I have my own business called Hood Healers Organics. And so I write a weekly newsletter. So I've been sharing it to them. I've been sharing it to a couple clients, family and friends. And so pretty much the book is called How to Eat a Holistic Guide to Adopting a Plant Based Lifestyle. Okay. And it's written in.

I want to say it's written in like a vegan or highly shifting toward the plant based perspective. However, the aim of the book is to help individuals take some information in, but more so shift their habits to adopting their own unique version of a plant based lifestyle. So I have information there. I'm not telling you to eat meat. I might shift some gear and say, all right, maybe we shouldn't eat meat or shouldn't eat this. However, the main focus of the book is to, again, just help people, you know, generate what foods they like to eat, you know.

know the reasons why. I think once we know maybe what something could do to us, whether if it's good or bad, then we can make a more empowered decision. You know what? Do I still want to eat this or do I not want to eat this? Because like one of my, like I got said in the beginning, like I don't always eat the healthiest plant based or vegan foods. Like I might have a vegan donut or vegan pizza. I know in my head, all right, this isn't the healthiest thing. This is a pizza and a fruit. It's two different things. However, I can still enjoy the pizza and enjoy it. And then, you know.

maintain my healthy lifestyle 90 % of the time. And that's the overall goal of the book, you know, just to share some information, share some value, inspire others to maintain a healthy, you know, lifestyle so that it's not only impacting themselves, but it's also impacting their family members, future generations to come. And just to share some information, I think the biggest two people that are very inspiring to me are Tupac and Nipsey Hussle. And they...

Rest in peace on both of them. Tupac died at 25. Nipsey Hussle died at 33. So, you know, we're never always going to be here forever. And I think for me specifically, one thing I've always dealt with, I never thought I was going to make it to live past 25. I made it past 26. I'm grateful that you're here. So that was always like one of the biggest fears I've been dealing with the past couple of years. And sometimes too, like, I don't know if I look at my life like I don't know if I'm ever going to live a long life. I would love to. But what inspires me to like.

share things and, you know, be a positive influence that, you know what, I'm not going to be here forever. And like seeing them in Nipsey Hussle, he inspired me. Like when I left college, I just came across Nipsey Hussle. Then he died like a year later. Wow. And so I'm like, damn, or maybe a couple of months later after I found out about him, but just so much of what they put out and the work that they put in and things that inspired them and how to one of two possible is he said.

spark, but you can change, or you say, well, some along these lines, you never know who you're going to touch, but you can spark the mind that changes the world. So I just try to put out information, try to put out content, whether it's social media, books, or even just touching individuals' lives. And just, you know, changing that one person, they can take that information and change so many other lives. So like, that's my biggest thing with books, social media, posting, is just continue to share and be a positive inspiration so that I can continue to influence and impact other individuals in a positive manner.

Well, you're definitely impacting a lot of people, whether that's personally in your personal trainer and also that we're putting out content as well. And that's why I like doing this podcast because we're having conversations like this and our conversation can make other people grow, whether that's health, wealth and relationships, just in general. And they could talk whatever that you're speaking today to other people as well, like the healthy habits, the fitness, the relationship, vulnerability, accountability.

All those aspects. I want to go into the last bit of the show and we ask the same questions for our guests every single time and in a future time is the name of the podcast called Kaizen Blueprint as in the Japanese term for continuous development or continuous improvement and or change for the better. What is like the thing that you're doing every day outside of healthy food or is there specific things that is in your mind is in your

you know, daily things that you think can benefit other people to do every day. I think the biggest thing would be compassion. I think if others can generate compassion, one for themselves, I know we touched on this a little bit throughout the podcast. I think the biggest thing we could be compassionate within ourselves that can really develop how we interact with our world. I think everything that happens is based upon in our lives is always determined within and we have a beautiful world within.

then we will have a beautiful world without, and the more that we can develop more compassion, more self -love, more self -care, more kindness and consideration for ourselves, we can take that energy and just read it without, you know, outside of ourselves. My friend, she sent me a video by a guy named Barry Long, and he talked about like relationships and sex, and one point that stood out within the interview was that he said, if you're not in a relationship,

then you can take the beauty that you have within and just share it to other people. So it's like, all right, you may feel lonely. You may feel, I wish I was in a relationship X, Y, and Z. However, if you just accept that, you know what? This is not my time for relationship, but I can still take the beauty that's within my heart and just share it to other individuals. So that's something I try to do. And I think that beauty, if we can let it stem from compassion and self -love and self -care, you know, we can just, you know, continue to be a better human being each and every day. Got it. It starts from within. All right. Well.

Where can people find more about you? So number one, I must say, hood healers, organics, still just growing and developing my business. So that's going to be number one on our home page. We have a join our community page. Each Monday I send out a free newsletter. And the biggest thing for the newsletter is I want to share information, share inspiration and just share kind of what's going on, what I'm learning in my day to day. So that's number one. Instagram, Sulayman414. One of the biggest things I've done recently on my Instagram is to...

show more authentic versions of myself. So you might get the health side. You might get some silly stuff. Just me being truly authentic to myself. And then also too, I currently work at city fitness on 12th and market as a personal trainer within our thrive program. And I've really been loving it. I feel very purposeful. I love meeting people. I love engaging. So if you want more hands on help with personal training to reach me there, then also.

on my Instagram homepage, I have, you can schedule a free consultation with me. So if you want to conversation about fitness, I do online fitness training. And then also maybe you just need some pointers, a direction of how you can level up your health. feel free to schedule a free consultation and we can, you know, continue to grow from there. So many different platforms. I try not to identify as one thing, you know, I think if we identify as our, this one thing, we kind of put ourselves in a bubble in a box, but I think our spirits are free flowing and everlasting. And if we can take that image.

and just live that way, we don't have to box ourselves in. Awesome. Well, Sulaimaan, thanks for being on the podcast and see you guys on the next one. Thanks Aldo. Peace and love.